Hurting and Hoping

Sometimes the pain from depression is just so strong. Right now is one of those times for me. The day was wonderful, actually. I have nothing to complain about right now. God is so good to me. He has blessed me with a sweet and caring husband, an angelic child, loyal friends and family, a professional and rewarding job, and a comfortable way of life. There is nothing I need that I don't have. And yet, this depression is lurking. I am going to therapy, taking vitamins, going to church, praying, going to a spirituality class, staying busy at work, spending time with friends, and eating better and exercising more. Not enough, but more! But these tough minutes or hours--in the terriyfing times it was days--still come and still hurt so much. It is difficult to describe how real and how strong they are for those who have not experienced depression. At least, as much as I tried to empathize with people with depression before, I could never grasp how strong and irrational the thoughts and feelings can be until I experienced it myself. My heart goes out to all of us strugglers, or in a more positive frame of mind, us survivors of depression. We deserve kindness and compassion. We deserve more research into depression. We deserve destigmatization and normalization. At least that is what "I" am hoping and praying for right now.